In the online dating world, it’s more than easy to match with someone, set something up, and then either ghost, be ghosted, or just simply cancel on them. Although its bad form and no one likes the idea of flaking, it’s almost too easy to do that now. Its problem that needs to be addressed. We can’t do anything about the people that don’t want to be decent, but we can do something about the people that are wanting a better route to better matches.
We will be going over the tips and tricks that we have used to make sure our dates stick with the plan and not bail! If you have any other tips or tricks that seem to work for you, be open and share them in the comments below!
Be Warm and Enthusiastic
One of the bigger problems we all face on dating platforms is that everyone acts way too cool to be there… as if… they aren’t already on the site. It’s a tough scene to watch unfold, but most matches act this way. The best way to combat this isn’t to match their same tone though, although that might seem like the easiest move when they are being short, but it won’t help either of you. Instead, be more than enthusiastic to be talking to them. Use explanation points, smiley faces, and anything else that is going to give off the vibe that this is your first match in months.
Be excited to talk to them until it’s unbearable to you. Odds are they end up turning their attitude around and you finally get somewhere with them. Worst case scenario is that you end up not wasting time or energy with someone who isn’t willing to act remotely involved in the conversation.
Talk Until You Find Something in Common
Letting a conversation die within a few minutes of starting is almost second nature at this point to most of us, so changing that up needs to be first priority if we are every going land us a date. The way to do that? Keep talking until you hit on something that you both are excited to talk about. If you’re already following the step from above, this should be pretty easy to find early on.
Ask them about their upbringing, about their work life, about their favorite weekend activities, and so on. Within a few exchanges you’re bound to find something that you both would like to talk about more than the classic small talk until the date. If you’re willing to take the conversation to a new place where both of you are looking forward to the next response, there’s not a chance in the world that the date is going to fall through.
Don’t Triple Check
It’s easy to get antsy and wonder if they are going to cancel, so you text them five different times and try to confirm. This alone could drive someone to cancel the plans they fully intended on being at. It comes across as desperate, sounds like everyone else cancels on you, and it is more annoying than most things you can do on the phone before you have a chance to meet someone in person.
Be confident that if they seem interested and they said they would be at the spot when you told them to be, they will be there. Until they tell you otherwise, they plan on coming. Once they have confirmed, that doesn’t mean you can’t bring the plans up again, but it does mean you don’t need to call then 3x before like a nagging mom trying to get her children to do some chores.
Talk About It
If your plan is to go do some pottery, get a cup of coffee, and then see a movie, talk about specific parts you’re excited about. This doesn’t mean that everything you talk about has to be about the upcoming date, but letting them know you are excited for specific parts will tie them to the plans a little more than a general comment saying that you are excited. You can say something like “I’m super excited for the movie popcorn! It’s always my favorite part!” It’s not too pushy, but its something that will make them excited as well as letting them know you’re looking forward to it.
If you do this too much, it will come across as the same thing as checking up that they won’t cancel, but just enough will make them feel like they are tied to the date and tied to you as a person as well. It’s a great strategy.
There’s plenty of people out there just looking for a hookup, and if thats you, thats fine. The odds of someone canceling on a hookup is incredibly lower than the cancelations that go on with actual dates. If someone is being super sexual with you right as you’re getting to know them, you understand that they’re here for a good time and not a long time. Same goes for you as well though, as you shouldn’t be sexualizing anyone, especially before the first date.
This will send the wrong idea immediately and will likely give the wrong idea off the bat. Thats the last thing you want when trying to start a love connection that isn’t based solely on the physical side.
We call tell you 1,000 different tips for setting up a date, but nothing will matter if you aren’t confident in yourself and the plan. Let them know what the date is, tell them you’re super excited for parts of it, and then execute. Be yourself over the phone and people are going to gravitate to the authenticity of you.
If you know of any great tips or tricks, let us know in the comments below! If there are any questions or topics you want covers, also let us know in the comments below!